My wedding was the happiest day of my life! And I’d love for all our prospective brides-to-be to have a magical day filled only with happiness and fond memories. Avoid these 7 regrets and you’re sure to have a hassle-free day, blissful day! In our previous wedding planning posts, we discussed the questions you should think through as you plan your dream wedding. We also listed important questions to ask your vendors! These steps are vital in helping you execute your wedding plan.
Today I’d like to discuss contentious issues which seem to come up again and again. It seemed when I was planning my wedding everyone had strong opinions around these topics.
Think through these areas carefully as you plan your wedding day and avoid regrets later on!
to veil or not to veil
Listen to your own intuition. Having a veil is a personal choice and not something that needs to be forced upon you because you Mother thinks its traditional or your photographer thinks the photos will be better with it! Your wedding day will be your special day and only you know if a head covering will make you feel uncomfortable or more like a princess! If you love the idea of being unveiled by your Father then, by all means, go ahead. But if you’re a practical type who doesn’t want to haul around an extra layer of material on a hot summers day then leave it behind. It’s entirely up to you!
I can’t stress enough how important it is to wear comfortable shoes. You will be on your feet for the better part of 8 hours on your wedding day! It’s a good idea to wear comfortable shoes! The last thing you want is to be grimacing during your photo session because your feet are hurting.
Remember your day kicks off with before photos with your bridesmaids and parents; then it’s off to the ceremony where you will most likely stand up front for the entire ceremony. After this is the receiving line, following this it’s your official photo shoot with your groom, bridal party, and family. This is about 3 hours into your day by now and you haven’t even counted the cocktail drinks, speeches, dinner and dancing session. So, when you are drooling over those thinly strapped stiletto high heels please be realistic. Can you honestly stand on those shoes for 8 hours?
Many brides decide to get the skinny high-heeled shoes and then swap them with a more comfortable pair after the photo session. So, they are more relaxed and comfortable on the dance floor too. But I still think you should carefully ask yourself can you wear these stilettos for even 2 hours? Shop around for comfortable shoes! Also, consider the venue and if you will be spending time outdoors standing on grass for instance. And once you purchase your shoes, please wear them in before the big day to avoid getting blisters.
the guest list
The guest list will cause endless discussion and stress. Before you even begin with your list come up with a few ground rules of how you plan to put your list together. For instance, you may decide that unmarried friends can’t bring dates. And even if they are currently dating someone you may still enforce this rule. Because will that date be around in 6 months time? You could also decide to limit the family to only those who you are regularly in touch with. You could invite your new friends instead of old school friends.You may feel you see your new friends more often and believe they will be constant in your life. Or maybe you want your childhood friends there as you feel that they know you best?
To sum up, before you embark on compiling your guest list, decide on a few ground rules which you can then consistently apply. This should stop you from second-guessing yourself at every turn.
And if you are still debating over inviting someone, then simply invite them! Remember not everyone will be able to make your wedding. They may have other commitments, they may not be able to travel, or get babysitters, or be out of town. Don’t panic if your list looks too large. You can probably cut off 20% off that list to get to your final count.
not booking a videographer
Many couples forgo the videographer as they want to save on costs, which is totally understandable. But I recommend you get a videographer! You will regret it if you don’t! Rather cut your photography budget for instance by making your own photo book or hire the photographer for fewer hours. We had a very reasonably priced entry level videographer and were delighted with his work. Our video was stunning and we, in fact, loved our video more than our photo’s as our video was able to capture the real emotions of the day.
Our photos were beautiful yes; but there is nothing quite like watching your wedding live, listening to the sermon, hearing the exchange of your vows and remembering that first kiss. Seeing the emotions on your partner’s face during the speeches and reliving your first dance. I had tears in my eyes as we watched our wedding video! Plus, our videographer filmed message snippets from our guests throughout the night which were priceless. It’ll be really funny to watch this video again in 10 years’ time and see how everyone has changed.
the far too busy night before
A trend these days is that when couples have out of town weddings they organise a wedding weekend. This usually includes a more casual event on the night before the wedding such as a wine tasting or dinner out. Call me traditional but I don’t think this is a good idea as it takes the special sparkle off the wedding day.
I have been to weekend weddings where events are planned for the Friday and what invariably ends up happening is that the night before turns into a party! Of course, the bride being disciplined goes to bed early to get her beauty sleep. But the other overly excited guests get caught up in the group excitement and get carried away. The result is the wedding day kicks off with tired and hungover wedding guests! And the actual wedding reception isn’t quite as fun as it should be because everyone is not on their top form.
So yes, call me a traditionalist but I would forget about organizing an event for the night before. If people want to meet up beforehand you obviously can’t stop this but as the bride, you shouldn’t be providing guests with entertainment options for the night before your wedding day. As the bride, the night before your big day, you should be relaxing with your Mother, sisters, and bridesmaids, maybe having a bubble bath or getting a back massage and enjoying some good old-fashioned girl bonding time.
the awkward speech
Wedding speeches are momentous and can set the tone for the rest of the evening. It is a good idea to ensure that each person who is talking has practiced their speech out loud and run it by a trusted ear beforehand. Most people are not able to speak off the cuff so it’s best to practice beforehand. Something may sound funny on paper but once spoken out loud doesn’t come across quite like that at all!
Mr. T and I both did speeches at our wedding and we ran them past each other first. It was great to get input from the other and to ensure our speeches didn’t overlap with the same stories. So, don’t make the mistake of bringing up that inappropriate comparison, practice your speech beforehand and test it with a trusted ear. Also ensure that your bridesmaid, best man, and Father have had their speeches vetted by a trusted ear.
anything new and not tested
Don’t try anything new on the day of your wedding. You really don’t want any unwelcome surprises or regrets on your wedding day. Test your lipstick and lipgloss beforehand, it may be too shiny or not moisturise your lips. The day before your wedding is not the time to try eyelash extensions or permanent mascara for the first time! Same goes for fake tan, hair extensions or a super holding hair spray. All these things should be tested in advance of your wedding day.
If you don’t normally drink energiser drinks, now is not the time to try it. If you’re not used to downing tequila shots or whiskey please don’t do it on your wedding day.
It’s an exciting day and we are all bound to get caught up in the euphoria but remember you will be the center of attention so make sure that you are comfortable. Don’t regret doing something which will throw you off balance and cause unnecessary stress! Enjoy the affections swirling around you and soak up the happy atmosphere on your special day.
My wedding was the happiest day of my life, and my wish for you is that yours goes off smoothly and happily too. Avoid these 7 regrets and relish your wedding day. Do you have any other wedding regrets which you would like to share with us?