12 Things You Should Do Before You Marry

April 9, 2017

Getting married is a big deal! But how do you know if you are sufficiently prepared for it? I believe there are certain things you should do before you marry to increase your chances of having a successful marriage. It’s not enough to only love and adore your partner. To accomplish a successful marriage, you need to be in the right phase of your life and able to make that commitment. Because marriage is a commitment for the rest of your life! Yes, for the rest of your life so it should be a big deal!

Are you ready for marriage?

How do you know if your current one is the one?

Are you mature enough to weather the ups and downs of married life?

I believe there are certain experiences which help us mature. These rites of passage enable us to grow, change and evolve into fully fledged adults. Adults who are able to successfully commit and maneuver the ups and downs of married life.

Here are the things you should do before you marry.

1. Experiment

Try different things, this is the best way to learn and the best way to get to know yourself. Discover your uniqueness. Experiment with everything. The clothes you wear, the music you listen to, the books you read, the guys you date! Date the good guys and the bad guys. Be open to meeting people and making new friends. Have fun and enjoy those all-nighter parties and raucous music festivals. By experimenting you will learn more about yourself and solidify your ideas about what you want from your life.

2. do something daring

Do something courageous and really push your limits. Surprise yourself. Get out of your comfort zone. Set an audacious goal or take a risk. Do something that makes your heart quiver, that makes your blood rush, like committing to run a marathon, or jumping out of a plane or volunteering at a hospital. Learn public speaking skills, join a drama society or start a blog.

3. study

Finish your university degree, extra studies or postgraduate courses. Now is the perfect time to find your passion and career path. Do an internship and immerse yourself totally in learning as many new skills as possible. Put in the hours to set up a solid foundation for your future. And even if you change your path 5 years down the line that’s ok! But for now, learn as much as you can about what you feel passionate about.

4. move out of your parents home

It’s important to enjoy your independence and freedom before you commit to someone. If you stay on with Mom and Dad it means you probably won’t learn valuable skills like how to run a household and do basic tasks like grocery shopping. I believe it’s a great idea to live in a house-share or flat-share with friends. You will learn how to compromise and how to be a better house-mate yourself. You will also make some fabulous memories which you’re sure to look back on with joy.

5. learn how to cook

Learn how to cook at least two fabulous meals and then treat your friends or family. You don’t need to be Jamie Oliver in the kitchen but your loved ones will really appreciate being spoilt with a scrumptious meal. Your future spouse will love this aswell.

6. quit your job

Only stay in a job for as long as you are learning. If it begins to feel monotonous and like you are not making a valid contribution then move on. The best time to move around in your career is when you are young and don’t have responsibilities like paying off a bond or your children’s medical costs! With each new position, your salary level and responsibility level should increase so it makes sense to job hop.

7. have your finances in order

Now, this doesn’t mean you need to have a trust fund set up earning you millions! But rather that you should be able to support yourself. Know how to budget and spend within your means. It’s also important to make saving a regular habit. It is a fine balancing act to get the balance right between living in the now and investing for the future. Set a goal which you can save towards. And when you reach that goal cherish that self-satisfied feeling of achieving what you set our to do. Well done! Your future spouse will love you even more for your responsible approach to managing your finances.

8. love wholeheartedly

It is unlikely that you will marry your first love, this is simply the way the world works. But love that person unconditionally and give it your best shot in any case. Be silly, be stupid in love, be emotional, be raw, be real. Young love is really something special.

9. have your heart broken

That first love will probably break your heart. Having your heart broken is a horrible experience to go through; you feel as if the world has been ripped out from under you and you can’t fathom how you will be able to move forward. But then you surprise yourself, you recover and actually come out feeling stronger. This experience helps you to learn about behaviours in relationships, helps you see your blind spots, helps you learn about healthy boundaries in relationships. So that you are better equipped to handle the next relationship.

10. travel with your girlfriends

You certainly need to travel with your girlfriends before you marry. I believe that if you don’t do this before you marry, you will regret it later on and always wonder what you missed out on. So avoid having a midlife crisis down the line and rather get it out of your system now! Take a month or two to backpack and travel with your girlfriends or sister. Or even better go live in a different city for a year. There are so many wonderful different places in the world worth seeing. This will change your perspective on and probably make you appreciate your hometown even more.

11. travel with your future spouse

I do not subscribe to living with your partner before you marry, however, I think it’s a great idea to do go traveling together. Travel to some cool countries or find local places worth exploring. Go for at least two weeks so you get a chance to relax and bond properly over this time. Being together for an extended period of time will help you see another side to your partner’s personality. Being in a new environment will also bring daily challenges and the two of you will get a chance to practice problem-solving skills together.

12. splurge on yourself

Treat yourself and cherish your uniqueness. It’s important to spoil yourself and enjoy the phase of life that you are in. Later you will have more financial responsibilities and it won’t be as easy to spend money on that beauty treatment or handbag.

These are the things I believe you should do before you marry and before you make a lifelong commitment to your partner. Some of us find ourselves sooner and are able to put down roots earlier in our lives. Others need more time before we are ready to settle down. This can’t be measured in years but it is a feeling inside that only you will know.

Some of us may also be lucky enough to be with a partner who is willing to be patient and wait until we are ready to commit. It’s all part of the journey.

What do you think of this bucketlist of things you should do before you marry? Do you have anything further to include? Please let us know.

More about Heidi

A recently married Capetonian lifestyle blogger. Blogging about thriving and living a top life.

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